*background info - when i was little (between 4 and 10) i used to grind my clit against my arm or a pillow, i didn't really know what i was doing. but it was my way of masturbating. as i got older it was my way of doing things and i never actually inserted my fingers inside. I still do this sometimes and when the pleasure gets to a peak i try and get my fingers inside but the peak is gone by the time they get in.*
I'm 15 now, and i have a boyfriend, We've been together for about 2 years now; he could never make me orgasm, and I'd never orgasmed by myself. He always used to say things like: I feel bad, I'm bad at sex ect. I was feeling really pressured because he was feeling bad and I couldn't cum so one day I just decided to fake it. Since then I havnt really stopped faking it. The only shit thing is I still havn't had a real orgasm and I feel like I'm not being honest with him. I dont want to tell him I've been faking it for six months because I know he'll get angry. I've been looking on the net for ways to orgasm but I don't know if i can do it by myself, I need his help. But he thinks I've already been orgasming, so I can't say to him "I need you to help me to orgasm". See my dilema?
I have a feeling that what I did when i was younger may be a reason why I find it harder to orgasm, and it also just be my own mental block of pressure, I have a feeling I'm not relaxed enough when im having sex and i worry to much about what hes thinking and concentrating to hard on cumming.
If anyone knows a way I can suggest to him about orgasming id be really grateful.
one of my ideas is to stop faking it for a long time so he gets back to that stage where he thinks he cant make me cum again and then we can both figure it out together. im not sure. i really need as much help as i can get. THANKS :):)
Well, I don't know if this
Well, I don't know if this is still a problem, but my advice is, that you should talk to your BF and be honest with him. You can tell him, that you have been faking, and that your are sorry, but put it in a way so that he can see, that you didn't mean to be mean to him.
How many positions have you guys tried? If you have only tried the missionary style, (guy on top, you under him) I understand that you cant achieve an orgasm. I cannot either. Try doggy-style, as his dick will get inside you in a different way, and he will most likely be able to hit your g-spot. Try different speeds and make him do it harder and slower 'till you find something that feels as good as possible for you. Then make him keep doing that.
Actually, I just read a survey that says that girls faking orgasms gets closer to get a real one than girls who just) lie still. The reason is that if you start to breath harder, scream or whatever you do, you are tricking your brain and body to believe you have one... and from that on it doesn't take much right hits to actually make you have an orgasm.
Have fun experimenting... and remember sex should be fun and pleasuerable for both of you, so support each other and talk!
sorry for any spelling mistakes, but English is not my mothertounge. :)
Hugs Kate
Quite a problem
I'm a guy, but I've also had problems making my girlfriend orgasm. I wasn't mad that she told me this. Just a little disippointed. After about the third time we sat down and talked afterwards and decided to try different things. We tried gels, toys, etc. (I'm not an old man by the way I'm only 17.) After we tried a few ways she actually had an orgasm.
What I'm trying to get at is just talk to him. If he seems angry just tell him that he doesn't need to complain. You both should come up with a solution before he finds out you were faking it. Last thing I would say is experiment on your own. Find a way you orgasm, than interpret that into the way you have sex.
thanks :)
thanks so much, i might work up the courage to tell him. :D